Fighting the Tiger

(A Personal Journey)

By: Rod Morin

I dressed quickly, went outside and dunked my head into the rain barrel at the corner of my Grandfather’s house. I was late, as usual! I scanned the common area of the commune and realized that Grandfather had already left for the city. Sprinting across the square I disturbed the chickens and they clucked at me in protest. I prayed I wasn’t too far behind!

“Ah, you have finally decided to join me,” said Grandfather, when I had managed to catch up. “Did you sleep well?” he asked with a stern look.

“Forgive me Grandfather,” I said with respect and a touch of guilt. “I have not been sleeping well and I guess I just slept too long.”

As we continued walking my Grandfather looked me over and asked, “Is there something bothering you Li? Is there something in particular that is the cause of your not sleeping well?”

I mulled that over for a few minutes trying to pin point the root cause of my current uneasiness as I knew better than to just say “I don’t know” to Grandfather.

“My feeling is that the root cause is not just one thing Grandfather. When I meditate on my current uneasiness I see dark storm clouds over our land. The clouds then start to swirl and the wind starts to gust with violent intention. Doors are thrown open, people are knocked down. I see men and women of the village huddled together and weeping. Yet I also see certain men, men that I have never seen before, standing high upon a distant hill overlooking the carnage of the storm, and they are smiling.”

Grandfather said nothing for a long time as we continued our journey towards the city.

Finally he responded. “Your Taijiquan has improved, has it not?”

I scowled, knotting my eyebrows, confused. What did my practice have to do with my visions?

“Ah… yes, Grandfather. My practice has… changed.” I answered.

I relaxed as I started to contemplate my practice.

“I feel that I am now intimate with my forms, as I can now feel my energy as well as the energy of the Universe when I practice. It is a completely new and expanded experience, compared to just focusing on my physical movements.” I explained.

My Grandfather listened intently and then after a moment of silent contemplation he began, “Your diligent practice has expanded your awareness my son. Your energy has become like a beacon within the Universe and it is attracting other energies that will manifest in various ways. Thus you may learn the lessons that are appropriate for you at this particular time. Tell me,” he continued, “What principles of Taijiquan do you hold as imperative?”

“Balance is definitely key Grandfather. Balance in body, mind, emotion and spirit. I would also say awareness and patient diligence are key as well. A student must acknowledge that his lessons will come to him from many various sources, thus he must be open and willing to explore his world while remaining alert in order to absorb the appropriate information, experiences and energies. Finally, I would say rooted ness Grandfather. Without deep healthy roots the student will surely become uprooted and find himself, one day, lying in the dirt, dying of hunger and thirst, contemplating his separateness.”

I watched Grandfather as he absorbed and digested the words I had spoken. His only reaction was an almost imperceptible nod.

About an hour later we finally reached the city. We navigated our way through the throngs of people milling about in the streets making our way closer toward the city centre and the market square. As we proceeded down a particular street we passed a schoolhouse and I paused at the window for a moment to listen to the lesson the children were currently being taught.

“So you see children,” said the teacher, “if you do not come to school you will not gain the knowledge required to be successful in the complex commercial world outside of our city. In fact without your lessons you will find yourselves to be prisoners confined to work the local farms without even the opportunity to make a better life for yourselves or your families,” pronounced the teacher with an air of authority. I watched the children (acting as if one large student body) all stiffen up at this statement. It seemed as if they all resolved at that instant to listen up, pay attention to their lessons and try to make a better life for themselves and their families.

“That was interesting,” I said as I caught up to Grandfather again.

“Oh? What was interesting?” Grandfather inquired.

“A teacher at the school was actually teaching the children that only knowledge gained from that school will be able to help them become successful outside of this city,” I explained.

“And you don’t agree?” questioned Grandfather.

“No I don’t,” I said, as a statement of fact. “The lessons I have learned while practicing Taijiquan all have applications in the world at large. I might not know how to build a bridge but I know how to listen to, and take care of my body. I might not be able to solve a complex mathematical equation but I have the ability to hear my intuition. I might not be able to pass a test given by that school but I know the value of persistence and perseverance. I would say that my life lessons, while vastly different than book learning, are at least as valuable,” I finished.

“Would you say that your learning is superior?” asked Grandfather.

“No… I would not say that,” I said. “All knowledge is valuable, but more important is the ability to use what you have learned on a daily basis. I would question if those students at the school are intimate enough with their lessons to truly make good use of their knowledge. If they are not able to incorporate their lessons on a daily basis it would seem to me that the next lesson would override the one before it and vast amounts of their energy would be wasted.”

Grandfather nodded in agreement and we continued to make our way through the crowds towards the market.

As we passed a large building I heard a very subtle sound that stood out from the noise of the crowds. I felt a wave of energy wash through my body (which I have learned to be a sign for me) with the immediate result of heightened senses and awareness. I was intuitively guided to a door and I heard a sob from inside.

“Hello?” I said through the door. “Are you ok?”

“Who’s there?” responded a sobbing voice.

“My name is Li,” I said. “I heard you crying and wanted to make sure you were alright or perhaps see if I could help.”

“Come in,” said the voice.

When I opened the door I saw a woman of about 30 years of age. Her eyes were swollen, I assumed from crying, she looked extremely pail.

“Are you alright?” I inquired again.

“No… I am not,” was her reply. “I’m dying!” she wailed as she flailed her fists into the straw mattress she was sitting on.

I entered the room slowly contemplating this poor women’s situation.

“What are you dying of?” I asked, truly perplexed, as this women did not have the energy of one who was about to be leaving this world. In fact her energy did not show any signs of sickness but did show confusion and despair.

“The doctors have told me that I have an illness that is incurable and that I will be dead before my children are grown,” she sobbed.

“What is this incurable illness?” I inquired.

“I cannot remember or properly pronounce the name,” she replied. “All that I know is that the test that they gave me clearly showed that I had the disease which means I am going to die!” she wailed.

“Hmmm…. How do you feel?” I asked.

“I feel terrible!” she screamed. “How would you feel if you just found out you were going to die!?”

“Please,” I started. “Try to calm down. What I meant was, how do you feel physically? What was the symptom that exposed your condition in the first place?”

“Symptom? There was no symptom. The doctors did a routine blood test when I went in for a check up and found that I have this disease,” she explained.

“So you don’t feel sick?” I asked.

“No. I felt great yesterday and this morning, up until I was basically pronounced dead,” she answered. “That’s when I started to vomit and became ill.”

“Well I am not a doctor or even a scholar but I have learned that our individual realities are in direct correlation to what we are thinking,” I stated.

She looked at me rather oddly, seemingly trying to comprehend my words.

“An easier way to relate to this concept is to understand that what you see happening in your daily life is a manifestation of what is happening within your mind.”

I said this last sentence with the energy of transmission, meaning I “intended” this information to enter her body and be absorbed on a cellular level.

She looked at me confused and then her looked softened.

“Are you saying I’m not sick?” she asked with a tone of hope.

“What I’m saying is that everything that you experience is always in direct correlation and a mirror of, what you are thinking and feeling. It is always a match.” I stated.

“But the doctors are so sure that I have this disease,” she said.

“And that might be true,” I said. “But IF you do then remember the words of the doctors. They said it was incurable right?” She nodded. “That means that the cure is within yourself. IN-cure-able, just as the disease was caused by how you were thinking, feeling and participating in your world.”

“In-cure-ABLE,” she pronounced. “I am able to cure it,” she said with a far away look.

Her attention seemed to snap back to the present and she focused her attention back onto me.

“How do you know these things?” she asked. “You admitted you are neither a scholar nor a doctor.”

I smiled. “My Grandfather is a very wise man and I have had the privilege to be his student and study the teachings of Taijiquan. I have learned through experience that everything is energy and in actuality no-thing is as it seems to be on this physical level.

She seemed content with my answer and her energy changed to a much calmer and peaceful flow. I knew I had helped her so I bid her farewell and hoped that she would look deep within herself for the root cause of the her situation.

To Be Continued...